Have you asked yourself, “Why do I react to my partner like this even though I know it will cause more problems?” Or, “How do we get into these same devastating arguing cycles that happen over and over again?” Or, you may have found out your partner has been unfaithful and you want to know how to get through this painful betrayal.
By deciding for couple counseling you will learn that there are credible reasons for your behavior towards your partner. You will find out there are hidden, deep-seated emotions such as hurt and fear that are at the core of your reactions. It is actually these that inspire your responses to your partner in key relationship situations. By learning that these basic, deeper emotions need to be attended to and that they are what is causing your misplaced reactions you can modify your behavior and the meaning you are giving to the treatment you have received. That’s when change happens.
This can be applied to those harmful continuing conflictual cycles. They can be de-escalated when the reactive emotions such as anger and frustration are recognized as surface emotions. Underneath the more vulnerable and powerful emotions are what really drive the arguments. When the reasons for the deeper emotions are discovered you begin to see each other’s responses differently. Also, the result is you grow closer to each other because you realize that it isn’t your partner as the “enemy” but it is reactive emotions that are hiding those more vulnerable emotions beneath.
If you are experiencing infidelity it may seem as if you have no strength to handle it. Your emotions are all over the place and you are absorbed in thinking about it every waking moment. Compassionate and insightful counseling can help you find your way through this distress so that you can rebuild yourself and your future with your partner.